How “Tapping” Works to Heal Grief


Your deceased loved ones are at peace, and the message I receive again and again is that they want you to move on and be happy again. Yet, after a loss, it may feel as if you will never find the happiness you once had. You might be carrying around feelings of guilt and longing, as well as sadness, which make it very difficult to move on. When you need to release yourself from these debilitating negative emotions fast, I recommend you try the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) – also known as tapping.

Negative energy tends to get trapped in certain acupuncture points in your body. Just like massaging a tight muscle to release physical tension, you can tap these points to release the energy of negative emotions and get immediate relief.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Narrow down which emotion you want to get rid of – grief, helplessness, regret, anger, sadness, fear, etc. Then, rate the intensity of that emotion from one to ten, with ten being the strongest. Write down your rating at the beginning so you can rate it again after a few rounds of tapping, allowing you to check your progress.

2. Start with a statement to prepare your energy system for tapping, such as: “Even though I miss [loved one’s name] so much, I want to experience peace within myself again.” Whatever your statement may be, begin it with “even though,” add what you want to tap out, and end it with “I want to experience peace within myself again."

3. You’re now going to find sore spots on your chest, between your shoulders and at the bottom part of your neck. (You’re looking for an area where you may be storing a lot of your grief).

4. Rub these sore spots with your thumbs and repeat your statement three times. The degree of soreness is an indication of how much negative emotion is in that area. The more you rub the areas during tapping sequences, the less sore they will be, which means you are literally rubbing and tapping away the negative energy stored there.

5. Next, as you are bringing up your negative emotion, use your index and middle fingers of both hands, and tap seven times on each of the following points. (You have to feel the emotion in order to release it.)

- The inside of your eyebrows

- The outside of your eyes

- Under your eyes

- Under your nose

- Under your lips

- Under the collarbone

- Thymus points

- Under your arms (under the bra line, if you are a woman)

- Outside of your legs, in between the knees and hips

- Outside portion of your legs, about two inches below your knees

- The “karate chop” points of both of your hands together

- In between your pinky and ring finger, on the top of one hand. Repeat on the other hand.

While you’re tapping, feel free to shout, cry, or do whatever you feel is necessary to release any negative emotions you’ve been holding on to. You can even change your phrases to whatever comes into your consciousness with each new tapping location.

When you’ve finished your first round of tapping, do another round. Then, take a deep breath, and rate your current emotional intensity from one to ten. Your number should be lower than when you first started, but if not, do another round of tapping using a different set of words.

Time and time again I’m able to see firsthand just how much tapping helps!

Try it, and you will see what I mean. (A more detailed description of this technique, along with illustrations are found in my book, “Your Life After Their Death: A Medium’s Guide to Healing After a Loss.”)

Many blessings to you!


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