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Ho‘oponopono: The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Updated: Feb 27

My clients often express their regrets about the relationships they had with their deceased loved ones. They wish that they would have told them how much they cared, but that now it’s too late; say that they should have expressed how grateful they were for having these individuals in their lives; are sorry and feel remorse for their actions; or are very angry and find it difficult to forgive the things their loved ones did to them. The healing technique called Ho’oponopono will help you rid yourself of these regrets and so much more. All that it requires is for you to repeat four sentences over and over again throughout the day. These statements are: “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “I love you,” and “Thank you.”

What Is Ho‘oponopono?

Ho‘oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian healing technique that encourages you to take full responsibility for everything that comes into your life. When you do this, not only are you healed on so many levels, but you also heal everything and everyone around you.

The main teacher of Ho‘oponopono today is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. He first used this practice when he was working at the Hawaiian State Hospital in the division that held the criminally insane. Because of the violence at this hospital, no one before Dr. Len who was employed there was able to stay longer than a month, and those who walked through that ward did so with their backs against the wall, because they were afraid of being attacked by the patients.

When this very special man came into the picture, he never actually saw any of the patients. Instead, he simply reviewed their files and worked on himself using Ho‘oponopono. As he looked at each file, he said, “Thank you for coming into my life and showing me what I need to heal in mine.” Then he said the four mantras over and over until he felt guided to stop.

Soon afterward, the patients began to heal; those that had to be shackled were allowed to walk freely, and those who no one thought would ever be released were being let out. Today, that ward is closed because it’s no longer needed. When Dr. Len was asked what he did that caused this great healing, he stated, “I was simply healing the part of me that created them.” (For more detailed information on Dr. Len and Ho‘oponopono, I highly recommend the book Zero Limits by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D.)

You will also be able to achieve amazing results by practicing this simple technique. Ho‘oponopono can help if you have any regrets in your relationships with your deceased loved ones, or even if you just want to send them your love and gratitude.

The State of Zero

Ho‘oponopono is getting to the “state of zero,” where you have zero limits. It’s where you are able to take responsibility for, and are able to clear, anything that you perceive as a problem. It’s a place of stillness and peace, where you allow God, who is within you, to do all the work.

So how can you get to this state of zero? Again, all you need to do is repeat those four statements over and over again throughout the day. By doing so, as Dr. Len says, “You’ll be able to release subconscious garbage—programs that run your life without your participation.” 

The Four Phrases

Again, the statements in this technique are: “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “I love you,” and “Thank you.” When you think of your deceased loved one and a thought of regret comes up about him or her, simply repeat these phrases out loud or to yourself. It doesn’t matter how many times; just use them over and over until you feel better. When you’re saying, “I’m sorry” and “Please forgive me,” you’re speaking to your loved one, to yourself, and to God for whatever it is in you that allowed whatever it was that happened. Remember, it’s all about being 100 percent responsible for everything.

The last two statements help to raise your energy. By saying “I love you,” you will begin to feel better very quickly, because these words have the highest vibration possible. As you end with the words “Thank you,” you’re acknowledging that your mantras have been heard, and everything about the situation is being cleansed.

Even if you don’t have any regrets about your loved ones, you can still repeat “I love you” and “Thank you” over and over again. Just a few repetitions of these statements extend love and gratitude and heal you and your deceased loved one.

I personally have had many profound healing experiences with Ho‘oponopono, especially right after my mother passed away. I would think back over the years and have regrets that I should have called and visited her more often, but that now it was too late. Thankfully, I didn’t have any other regrets, but the fact that I should have been there for her more was really bothering me.

When I was on a long flight shortly after her death, I closed my eyes and inwardly began repeating the Ho‘oponopono mantras. After doing this for over an hour, I knew that it was okay to stop and felt a tremendous relief. The guilt I was carrying around with me was finally lifted. As soon as I experienced this peace, I heard my mother say, “I love you, sweetheart! You did nothing wrong.” I started to cry and just knew that all was well again.

After You Clear the Energy, Let It Go

Even after I sensed that everything was cleared, I kept repeating the four statements throughout the next few days. It still felt great saying “I love you” and “Thank you,” but I didn’t feel right as I repeated “I’m sorry” and “Please forgive me.” Even so, I continued to say these statements.

During that next week I did something to a friend that was intended to help her, but it somehow hurt her instead. This took me by surprise, and I felt so badly about it. So I kept saying “I’m sorry” to her over and over again. Well, my good intentions had backfired; of course, I never wanted to harm her, but I did nonetheless.

As I was thinking about this situation the next day, I realized that by continuing to say “I’m sorry” and “Please forgive me” after I’d healed the situation I wanted to resolve, I was attracting things in my life that caused me to seek forgiveness! That’s when I recognized that it is very important to stop saying these two statements after clearing is complete.

However, it is very beneficial to continue saying, “Thank you” and “I love you” for as long as you want. By repeating these two, you’ll bring more love and gratitude into your life. As a matter of fact, as I repeated them, I began receiving many texts, e-mails, Facebook comments, and phone messages from people telling me, “Karen, thank you! I love you!” All of this was just confirmation of what I already knew—what was showing up in my life was a vibrational match to my dominant thoughts and feelings of love and appreciation.

Summing It Up

According to the Law of Attraction, everything and everyone who comes into your life is there because you’ve attracted it—either intentionally or by default. Ho‘oponopono takes this principle of being 100 percent responsible for all that is in your path to an even higher level; it seeks to correct anything that’s not in harmony with the God within you. It’s about repentance, forgiveness, loving unconditionally, and being grateful.

When you practice Ho‘oponopono and are completely accountable for your actions, not only are you clearing yourself, but you’re also healing your deceased loved ones and everyone else. The words to my favorite song describe Ho‘oponopono’s premise perfectly, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

Section from Your Life After Their Death: 

A Medium’s Guide to Healing After a Loss, Karen Noé

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